QUILTING HUMOUR


Proquiltination – the art of putting off till tomorrow anything and everything except quilting

Quilting fills my days – not to mention the bedrooms and cupboards

Quilt – anything that has layers and has been made by you

When life throws you scraps, make a quilt

Old quilters don’t die – they just go to pieces

One quilting project, like one cookie, is never enough

My grand daughter came to spend a few weeks with me.  I decided to teach her to sew and began by showing her how to thread the sewing machine.  She looked at me in wonder:  ‘You can do all that but you can’t set the timer on the TV?’

A messy house is a sign of a happy quilter

A tidy house is the sign of a broken sewing machine

Happiness is a full bobbin

I’m a material girl – want to see my fabric collection?

HSY – haven’t started yet

PIM – project in mind

WIP – work in progress

WISP – work in slow progress

You know you’re a quilter if there’s more fabric in the house than food.

I’m a fabric accumulation expert

May all your ups and downs in life be with a needle and thread

FART – fabric acquisition road trip

You know you’re a quilter when your ironing board is always set up but you never iron clothes.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy fabric.

If I quilt fast enough, does that count as aerobic exercise?

Blessed are the children of the piecemakers, for they shall inherit the quilts

My husband said that if I bought any more fabric he would leave me – I’ll miss him!

I’m not easily distracted, I ………. Hey look – fabric!

Asking a quilter to hem your skirt is like asking Picasso to paint your bathroom.

Dear fabric store worker:  Stop asking me what I’m going to make with this fabric – I’ve run out of different ways of saying that it will go in my fabric stash.

Sure – bring the family over.  My wife’s working on a quilt, so bring your own food and dishes.  Oh and a folding table if you have one.

If you stick your tongue out while quilting, your quilting accuracy improves by 100%.

I don’t need to get organised, I just need a bigger sewing room.

Fabric is so addictive that it should be a controlled substance.

To quilt or not to quilt – what a silly question!

All of your questions about life after death will be answered if you touch my fabric stash.

When life gives you scraps, make quilts.

WOMBAT – waste of money, batting and time

RUF – really ugly fabric

You know you’re a quilter if you pet fabric.

No one expects a stamp collector to use his collection for mailing letters.  No one expects a coin collector to use his collection to buy groceries.  So why would you expect me to use my fabric collection to actually sew anything!!

PFC -professional fabric collector

NESTY – not even started yet

I cannot count a day complete, till needle thread and fabric meet.

A day patched with quilting seldom unravels.

STABLE – stash accumulation beyond life expectation

Creativity is intelligence having fun – Albert Einstein

Her needlework both plain and ornamental was excellent, and she might have put a sewing machine to shame – James Edward Austen-Leigh, about Jane Austen

A hearty bowl of a freshly made homespun quilt adds a pep to your step!

Falling in love with quilting is no laughing matter

A quilter never gets bored.

A quilter never speeds at the border, just slows down around the block.

Jelly rolls, layer cakes, crumb quilts

Jelly rolls, layer cakes, crumb quilts

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Comments

  1. These quilt quotes are awesome. I laughed soooo hard. Even my husband had to chuckle. Thanks so much.

  2. Love all your quilts and quotes.and
    yes it is addictive always need more fabric and room to store it
    oh for a sewing/ craft room.Thank you Rose for your inspiiration

  3. Alison Bucklow says:

    Quilting humour – ​one if my own!

    I’ve thought I might make myself a patchwork shroud. It could be my last act to use up my scraps!

  4. Cecilia Alcantar says:

    “When you wish upon a star keep on quilting and you’ll be contented”.
    Thanks Rose I love the quilting humor. I came up with this saying.
    C.A.

  5. Verna Hall says:

    Love your stash of quotes, Rose. I edit the newsletter for our Quilting Group in Australia. I like to insert a little humour each month, so many I please use some of your quotes?

    • Hi Verna. There are some lovely quilty sayings around, aren’t there. You are more than welcome to use any from this page – they are sayings in general use – not my own creations!

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